Calling All Military Wives!

My beautiful cousin, L, just got married to a handsome soldier. They haven’t been together too long so she was only just getting her mind around being a Military Girlfriend and now she’s a Military Wife! And the icing on the cake is that these lovebirds have just been posted away from her hometown. As we all know, this lifestyle definitely has its ups and downs. Even after 6 years of being together and 2 years of marriage, I still have a lot of difficulty with the “hurry up and wait” mentality.

What advice would you give L as a newlywed military wife? PLEASE only give helpful comments worded in a positive way. I’m sure she already knows that sometimes this lifestyle can be difficult, she doesn’t need her attention drawn to those negative aspects!

Mel 🙂


  • Okay I will answer this in two ways:
    1. What gets me through being a military wife.
    2. What is the best part about being a military wife.

    Point Number 1:
    Make friends and make lots of them! They will be the ones who will be your family when your hubby is away. They will be the one you phone/visit to get a reality check, a hot meal after a long day, and a hug. They will be the ones who know just what to say or not to say. They will take care of your kids and be emergency contacts. They will laugh with you and cry with you, because really they will be the only ones that truly understand what you are going trough. And when they/you move away you will phone a few of them and have at least a hour and half conversation, just because or you will find yourself saying I wish "they" were here because you didn't have to worry about childcare, because you always knew they would be safe at "their" house because they raised their kid(s) just like you.

    Point Number 2:
    Sex…yes I said it… after they have been away awhile is FANTASTIC!! Girls do you agree with me?

  • Well,

    I've been an army wife for 5 years this month and I have to say it doesn't get any easier. Sure, you get used to it and life goes on but easier just isn't true.

    As Jenelle said – You definitely need friends! We are posted across the country from both of our families and you have to rely on meeting new people and let them become your family.

    For us it was joining a church we loved right away. Once we did that the doors to friendship opened and we connected with a bunch of different couples in the same walk of life as us. If you get job perhaps there are people there that you can connect with. Let these people become your new family. Laugh with them, cry with them, go out with them, rely on them!

    The MFRC can be a big help in creating events to connect you with other spouses of military members.

    Use Facebook. So many people nowadays are on FB including Groups for your local area. This could be a great resource to connect with others.

    I found that quite often I didn't want the company of others but I still needed to keep myself sane. Hopefully you can afford the Internet (Satellite/Cable aren't as important to me) and then you can join Netflix or, etc. You must give yourself the pleasure of watching loads of chick flicks or other films your spouse wouldn't care to watch while they are gone.

    Find a bunch of recipes that you want to try and cook them while your spouse is away. My husband for example isn't a fan of stir fry's, roast beef, meat loaf, fajitas, etc. So I go nuts and make a lot of that while he's away. I also like wine. Wine = GOOD. Hot bubble baths. Candles. Relax.

    Are there any attractions within a couple hours from you? Take a road trip and go spend the day in a city or elsewhere! You can shop (or just look) at your own desire and don't have to worry about someone else looking at their watch every few seconds.

    If you have kids – Find playgroups in your area. Again, churches are great for that too. Lots of nursery activities and a fast way to meet other moms.

    I really hope you are able to adjust. Being able to get online and connect with other people (even from back home) is what kept me sane.

    And yes Jenelle, the return is usually good 😉

  • This might sound a little cold to some people but for me it helped to learn to like our time apart. This way I didn't feel as alone and am not at a loss for things to do when he's away. And it also makes me appreciate our time together even more. I came to think of our life together as happening in 2 stages, when he's home and when he's away. Each stage is different but enjoyable in its own way. I use the time apart to indulge in the things I know he doesn't like. It's a great way to feel happy!

    Think of each move as a challenge and new adventure!

    Learn to be independent and to do everything on your own but also know when to ask for help. This fits with the above posts on the need to make friends and to have them become family.

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