Let’s Play Word Association…

When I say, “family”, what jumps into your mind?
Love?
Dislike?
Support?
Independent?
Kindness?
Spiteful?
Calm?
Craziness?
Big?
Small?
Far apart?
Tight knight?

Whatever your associations to the thought may be, we are each dealt just one family. We don’t get to pick’em, they’re just there. Good or bad, we just get the one. Unless you count the one you marry into, but you get just one of those, too (well, at least, one with each spouse! Haha).

With the exception of me, my immediate family has the distinct good fortune of living in the same town. My parents and Big Sister and Big Brother and his wife all live within 10 minutes of each other. Fifteen if the train is coming into town (which is probably carrying Big Sister on it anyway). I, on the other hand, live several provinces away. Leave it to me to be the odd one out (in oh so many ways, I’m sure).

But of course I went ahead and married a military man which gives me somewhat of a nomadic existence. Despite my hardest wishes, I realize I will likely never live so close to the rest of my family. This kills me. I think it would be easier if the rest of my family WASN’T so close. If everyone was spread out then I wouldn’t feel like I was missing so much. I have two little nephews that I feel like I hardly know. I miss birthday celebrations, casual Sunday dinners, Saturdays in the summer around the pool, hanging out at Big Sister’s place, and I often dream about my son and his cousins being able to play together regularly. Whether or not you are a military spouse, anyone who lives apart from their families knows how hard it can be and how much you often ache to be nearer.

And now a few personal words. I hope I don’t embarrass Big Brother and Big Sister by writing this so openly, but I think I’ve become sappier by living so far away.

Big Sister has become increasingly goofier with time. It’s possible that our fairly large age difference just prevented me from noticing it before, but in the past few years I have discovered her to be both hilarious and highly entertaining. We email, Facebook, text, and Skype regularly. In fact last night we were Skyping while we all had dinner and we placed the computer at a place at the table and pretended she was really there. It was really, really great, and doing things like that does help make it feel as though we aren’t thousands of kilometers away.

Big Brother is a busy man. A Daddy of two very young boys, husband, avid volley ball player and full time business man, his “free time” is typically spent sleeping since it usually falls between the hours of 11pm and 8am. Busy as he is, however, I know he is there. We don’t talk often and he’s a slippery fish to get ahold of, but when we do talk we have really, really great conversations. In fact, he called the other night, his beautiful wife taking a much-earned evening out and both little ones in bed. Had Monkey not woken up causing me to end the conversation after just half an hour, I feel like we could have chatted all night. Just about nothing and everything at the same time. I loved it. I miss it. I wish we were closer.

I guess the point of this blog is to take a moment not to rant, not to be sarcastic (who me? sarcastic?), not to comment on the military, really, or parenting, but just to make use of this public forum to openly and hopefully not too embarrassingly say to my Big Brother and my Big Sister these words: I love you. We don’t say it often. We don’t see each other often. But I do. You will always be my BIG Brother and my BIG Sister. I will always look up to you and admire you and no matter how many kilometers may separate us I will always be there for you and I know you will be there for me.

Truth be told, sometimes I want to clunk your lovely heads together because I don’t think you realize how lucky, truly lucky you are to live so close to each other and to our parents.
Please make the most of this.
And please save me some dessert tonight. Because I’m coming home this weekend and I intend to essentially stalk you while I’m there. The least you could do is offer me some dessert.

Love,
Your Little Sister,
Mel

2 Comments

  • Very sweet. And I feel your pain. My mom, dad, step-parents, siblings both half and step are all several states away. As we grew up I knew you and I were similar… But who would have thought really that we would both marry military men and leave.

    And now just for fun your word association game:

    When I say, "family", what jumps into your mind? Ohio
    Love? Justin
    Dislike? Cooked carrots ( Justin likes them so I made them for dinner last night but I really don't like them)
    Support? Family
    Independent? A must for military wives
    Kindness? The new people I'm meeting
    Spiteful? Mosquitoes nasty things!
    Calm? A hug
    Craziness? My cats
    Big? Justin's….heart
    Small? My current social life
    Far apart? Me and a lot of my loved ones
    Tight knight? Hm….not to sure bout this one

    Love you,
    Lisa

  • The goofiness was always there, I'm only now getting around to letting it out!

    I love you too lil sister!

    N

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