The Roller Coaster of Being a Woman

Women: You know when you’re PMSing but you haven’t realized it yet and your moods are going up and down and you’re crying because it’s raining and you feel that you may as well lay down and die because your life sucks so bad because you just stubbed the same toe for the second time in one day?

Moms: You know when you’re pregnant and this is pretty much just a way of life for 9 months and then right after you have the baby you turn into a crazy person who is so hormonal and over-tired that you’re crying over your dinner plate and you have no idea why?

Does this end at some point?
Ok I’m not crying and it isn’t raining and I’m far away from those postpartum “Night Time Crazies” as Hubby and I so affectionally called them. But I do feel really emotional and easily irritated. I feel I can owe this lovely bouquet of feelings to three things:

1. I really am PMSing (oh, but to any men who are reading this, if you EVER use terms like, “I think you’re just PMSing right now” or “Don’t you think you’re being a little bit hormonal?” we WILL castrate you. With a butter knife. Thankfully I have married a man who would never in his wildest dreams even think of saying something like that even when we both know it’s completely true, but I trust that not all men are so smart).

2. I have to go back to work soon. Very soon.

3. As implied in my previous post, Hubby is being sent away. Again. For a month. At the exact same time that I have to go back to work.

So this trifecta of awesomeness has led me to become the type of woman who gets annoyed when Hubby tells me he’ll be home 15 minutes later than normal and who feels sad and sappy at Monkey’s bath time every night thinking about how this is just one more bath time closer to having to leave him three days a week and how soon bath time will be one of the only moments I’ll get with him on those days.

This may be a huge stereotype, but I think this is kind of a woman thing. I feel like men wouldn’t put that much thought into bath times and what they mean and all that hoo-ha, and they certainly wouldn’t care about being 15 minutes late. But I’m not a man (obviously) so I don’t think this way. Don’t get me wrong, I know some men would get all sappy at the mere sight of baby wash and women who wouldn’t give it a second thought, but it’s just my general opinion on the matter. And this is my blog so if you don’t agree with me, well that’s just too bad. If you feel strongly enough on the matter then start your own blog and disagree there.

But I digress.
What was I saying?
Oh yes, emotional roller coaster.
So basically I have to go back to work soon. Like, last week kind of soon. I don’t want to. This is not a secret but hubby and I have agreed that although we COULD swing it if I didn’t go back to work, things would be tougher. And I want to be able to order things from www.babysteals.com without having to also sacrifice meals throughout the week. I want to be able to take Monkey to Disney World when he’s older. I want to be able to take him to Ontario and Newfoundland to see his family more than once in a blue moon (I’ve heard those are rare). I want to be able to buy him lots of books from the book clubs when he’s in school. I want to buy him a computer when he’s older. I want to buy him a Newfoundland dog named Otis who can pull him on a beautiful sleigh made of bamboo and laden with organic cotton blankets to keep him warm. And I know we won’t be able to do these things if I stay home.

Sigh.
Is it this hard for everyone? There is a large part of me that feels kind of mad at Hubby’s other wife, Mrs. Military, because I rather think that if I knew Hubby would be home every single night to help with dinner and feeding the four Fur Babies and taking out the garbage and cleaning and laundry and checking the mail and paying the bills then I could be a teensy bit more relaxed about this. But not only is this so NOT the case but I get to experience all this single handedly right off the bat. I guess I’m diving in head first. With my arms tied behind my back. And bricks tied to my ankles.

But hey, we all do it, right? So I guess I just need to bite the bullet and do it. Get my butt in gear and get back to work. I’ve heard it’s not so bad when you get into it…so I will.

Eventually.

But for now I’m going to try to enjoy every moment and not think of it as the “last this” or the “last that”. But I might still be annoyed if Hubby comes home 18 1/2 minutes late from work. And I might still cry if it rains. And dammit! It HURTS when you stub your toe so I’ll be mad about that, too, if I want to!

There.
I’m done.
The end.

Mel.

2 Comments

  • Feelings are feelings and we can't control them and we don't know when they are going to happen or even if we'll feel the same way two days in a row over the same situation.

    I say have your feelings and let them out because the only harm you'll ever do is holding them in and not expressing them

    love you,

    Lisa

  • Yes, Mel, we all go through this. And sometimes it sucks and it's ok to be mad. Think of what you would potentially do with all that emotion if you didn't cry and get mad?? We all know that we would not put that energy to something constructive!! LOL!!

    Steve deployed the day before I went back to work after Dex. And although I had been through it once before, it was still "going back to work". To a new unit. New people. New job. And your husband!! LOL!! To be honest – I think his leaving made the transition easier. New routines, new timings, new attitudes and no hubby around to mess it up 😉

    Enjoy going back to work!! Embrace it and you will soon realize it's not all "the last of this", but there are a whole lot the first of this or that"!!

    PS – love your blog!! You rock girl!! maybe you should go into freelance writing from home!

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