It’s Not Me, It’s You…Really

In the past few years I have experienced several major life events. Throughout these times I have learned a lot about myself. I learned that when planning a wedding I am able to take a relatively limited budget and a small town church hall and turn it into everything I ever wanted. I learned then when I am pregnant I can draw upon energy I didn’t think I had when necessary, but that when given the chance I will fall asleep at 8:00 but only on the couch so I can still “spend time” with Hubby. I learned that upon hearing that I must move across the country I might get pretty pissed at first but in the end I’m the type of person who perceives this kind of major change as a “silver lining” opportunity. I learned that the anticipation of going back to work after a full year off with Monkey was much worse than the actual change, and I learned that if you’re really lucky, you can find someone to watch your child and trust that person much, much more than you ever thought possible. I learned that starting a home-based business is very difficult but that I really love owning my own business and working for myself. And I learned, a rather long time ago, actually, that I love being part of a community. The military community, the teacher community, the Mommy community, the wife community, the daughter/sister/friend community, the Arbonne community.

As much as all of these experiences and many more and all of those to come shed light on my own character, what I find equally if not more interesting is how that same light portrays the important people in my life. It is when you need something (physical or emotional) from your friends and family that you catch a little glimpse of who that person is right now, what their priorities are. Hubby has been away for a month (and comes home tonight!). During that same month I started not one but two new jobs and Monkey started daycare. I have one friend who I’ve known less than 5 months who made a point of knowing that she was there for me during this month, that I could ask anything of her despite the fact that for half the time her hubby was away, too. I have neighbours who knew that I was alone and took the time to shovel my driveway when it snowed. I have family that call extra, email extra, say extra “I love you’s” because they can appreciate, even if they can’t completely relate, to how difficult it is to work two jobs, take care of a house and four pets and a 14 month old all my myself. But on the other side of the coin there are people who either don’t know or don’t seem to care about this or other major life events. They’re “busy”, of course. It is tempting to take this lack of involvement personally, but in a recent conversation with my sister I came to realize that it isn’t personal. Really, it has nothing to do with me. What people don’t do, don’t say, speaks volumes about them.
But it sure is eye-opening.

Take care


  • Love the post Mel! Glad to hear that your hubby is coming home today and that you all are doing well 🙂

  • It is true. I couldn't imagine how you do half of the things you do. I have a lot on my own plate and find no time myself but yours is heaping and can still finds time for so many things and do it in your positive smiling way. You are truely inspiring. glad Brad is home soon 🙂

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