A Mommy Moment

My walking, talking, laughing, steamed-milk-drinking little boy

I just put Monkey down for his nap. As I closed the door behind me, I couldn’t help but reflect on how different things are now. How wonderful, how peaceful, how amazing. This thought has come through my mind each evening, too, as I fill out my daily journal that I keep for Monkey. I started it last September so I am now at the point where I get to read last year’s entry for the same date when I fill out the current day’s. It’s amazing the growth he has had in one year. One year, to you or I, is nearly nothing. We  may have lost or gained a few pounds, maybe did something different with our hair, but most of the time there isn’t anything huge that happens in the span of a year. A year ago from yesterday, Monkey signed his first sign, “milk”, for my Mom when she tried to put him down for a nap during on of their visits. Now, a year later, he says, “I likes more milk, please, Mommy!”. Quite the difference!

A friend, Miss M, posted someone’s blog on her Facebook the other day. The author wrote about how you don’t know a particular phase or activity is over until it’s been a while since you’ve done it and you realize you’re all done. You don’t know the last time you will rock him to sleep until you don’t do it anymore. And because you didn’t know it was going to be the last time, you didn’t savour it. Didn’t take the time to be fully present and stare at his little face, his long eyelashes, instead of staring blankly ahead planning the week’s menu and grocery list. We can’t help it, we’re human, but that blog plus my evening journal have put things into perspective and I have promised myself that I will at least try to be more present during all the moments we spend together.

I love, love, love being a Mommy. Monkey is the best thing I have ever done and my most proud ongoing project. I never knew you could love any creature as much as I love him. I think I may border on obsession.

I adored the baby phase. The coos, the chub, the rolling over, the big toothless smiles, the breastfeeding, the baby wearing, the bucket car seat, the first foods….all of it. That said, I am in constant awe as I watch the developing child in front of me, and each day I am more star struck than I was the day before. My little cooing, chubby, rolling, toothless, nursing baby is now a laughing, tiny, running, grinning boy who loves pasta and eats pancakes every single day (“Make pankinks, Mommy? More pankinks? I help!”). He. Is. Incredible.

As you know, we have been to hell and back with Monkey’s sleep. He used to be HORRIBLE at sleeping. When we would FINALLY get him asleep in his crib it could be a few short hours to a few nano seconds before he was awake again. He was up a gazillion times every single night, almost always ended up in our bed, and naps almost never lasted more than exactly 30 minutes. Now, we do our little routine, single Twinkle, Twinkle, then I carry him over to his crib and whisper, “Goodnight, I love you” and kiss him twice on the left cheek. He whispers, “I love you” back to me as I lay him down, cover him up, and leave the room.

That’s.
It.

Nighttime, naptime, doesn’t matter, it goes the same. At night he may wake up once or twice before we go to bed, needing a quick little snuggle. Usually because he’s had a dream or he’s hot or cold. Naps are typically an hour and a half to two hours long.

O.M.G. How lucky am I?

As much as I miss the baby stage, I adore this stage. He is a real person, a tiny kid, with likes, dislikes, a massive vocabulary, a love of snuggling, and the best sense of humour.

From the moment I announced I was pregnant, people have said, “It goes by so fast”. I knew they must be right, since friends, family, and strangers alike all gave me this same advice, with a twinkle of knowledge and a tear of sadness in their eyes. But as we round the corner to Monkey’s second birthday, I know that it won’t be long before I’m telling others the same thing.

So every single day, from the moment it starts at 6am til the time Monkey’s day ends at 6:30pm, I am conscious of my little man. I try to devote myself to him when we are together, I try to acknowledge his feelings instead of brushing off his moods and preferences. I try to involve him in what I’m doing and I try to just love the pants right off him (when he’s wearing some) the very best that I can.

I hope you have a similar perspective. Don’t rush time away because time doesn’t need your help. Take a second to stand back and be fully present. The grocery list can wait. You can finish cleaning the toilet later. Enjoy every second because if you’re anything like me, you are all to aware that this stage, too, will soon be over, and although I look forward to see what the future holds and to see what kind of school-age child, teenager, and adult Monkey will grow into, I can wait a little longer.

Go snuggle your kid.
Love Mel 🙂

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