Mommy’s Law

Move aside, Murphy, it’s Mommy’s Law now!

You know Murphy’s Law, right? The one where things are bound to happen when you least want them to. When it feels like the universe is working against you. When you wear a dress for Kindergarten graduation and it absolutely pisses down with rain on your after school bus supervision. You remember Murphy.

Well if you’re new to the game of Motherhood, there’s a new law in town. Mommy’s Law. If you are a parent you will know this law well. Here are some examples of Mommy’s Law in this house:

1. If you put on a fresh cloth diaper and it needs to last a few hours because the rest are in the laundry, your kid will absolutely have a massive, messy dump rendering the outer shell un-re-usable and leaving you with no choice but to dig out the stash of *shudder* disposables.

2. If you are having an awesome hair day, your kid will definitely put peanut butter in it or rake his tiny, adorable fingers through it leaving you looking like all that’s left to do is stick on some bellbottoms and stick a huge pick comb in your new ‘fro.

3. If you are looking forward to nap time all morning because you are exhausted and need that little break to have a second (or more) coffee, put your feet up, or heaven forbid, close your own eyes for a few minutes, that will be the day your sweet, sweet, child decides that he is far too old for naps and stages a grumpy protest that leaves you both in the loveliest of moods for the rest of the day.

4. If you have just Green Machined your microsuede couches and are satisfied that they are finally at an appealing appearance again, your lovely tot will say the words “Mommy, I peed! I peed on couch!” and then, exactly 12 minutes later, “Mommy, I peed on couch! Again I peed on couch!”. *Sigh*.

5. Any time – ANY time – you pat yourself on the back for being such a superior parent and finally getting that little year-long sleep debacle all straightened out and are feeling just so smug about the hours and hours of uninterrupted sleep you are getting, your child will without a doubt encounter a sleep regression. A huge one.

6. If it is laundry day and you are wearing the very, very last pair of underwear in your drawer, your potty training monkey WILL pee all over your lap leaving you digging through your drawers to find your pre-baby underwear that is so uncomfortable you may as well just wrap dental floss around your waist.

The list is quite long, of course. But as with anything, someone else’s misfortunate is far more entertaining than my own.

So I ask you (and I want a LOT of responses this time!!), what are some examples of Mommy’s Law in your house?!

Take care and talk soon!

Love Mel

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